Yes, I am a native Simpson. You know how some people tell the "you might be a redneck if..." jokes??
You might be a Simpson if.....
Your dad and your brother bring the same woman to Christmas.
Your family photo looks like the "poster child" for dysfunction.
Your twice divorced dad gives everyone marital advice.
You don't consider it a "party" unless someone ALMOST gets shot.
You trick innocent in-laws into eating calf fries. (Here, try this fish)
You make prank phone calls, well beyond your 10th birthday. More like well beyond your 40th birthday.
Your idea of an awesome present is writing "Happy Birthday" with the tractor and disc on a big hill in the field.
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